Tag Archives: packers

Mitchells and Hobbes and Packers! Oh My!

8 Nov

Last Wednesday I went to the Turf Club again for their annual Mystery Science Theater 3000 night. The movie was Mitchell, another that I own on DVD, and it is a horrible flick. But, that is also what makes it so deliciously good. There’s sweaty cops, hookers, kids being yelled at and the slowest car chase ever to be filmed. It’s really breathtaking, in that, your breath will be literally stolen from you as the movie sucks your soul out of your chest (Fact: your soul is actually located in the right femur, but it must exit the body through the chest cavity).

Mitchell MST3K

Mitchell MST3K at Turf Club

The number 4 bus I ride continues to surprise me. If it isn’t some Green Goblin tatted chick or a hick talking about his jaw being broken as “THE FUCKING BEST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE EVAR! FOR REALZ YO!” or dudes who are super hairy and probably related to sasquatch in some way, then it’s dudes sitting by themselves reading Calvin and Hobbes. Now, I love Calvin and Hobbes – I have pretty much every collection there is – but this dude just struck me as odd that he would be sitting on the bus at 4:45 in the afternoon on a Friday perusing the pages of a Calvin and Hobbes collection. I guess there isn’t anything wrong with that, but still. It was odd.

Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin and Hobbes on #4 bus

Also, happened to view the football team from Green Bay totally annihilate the team from Dallas. It was pretty embarrassing for all them Texans. I guess even losing is bigger in Texas though!

Packers vs. Cowboys

Packers vs. Cowboys

A Bucket ‘O Beer? Don’t Mind If I Do.

28 Sep

The reason that I don’t go out to bars or other such drinking establishments by myself is for fear of ending up like this dude.

Bucket 'O Beer Man

Bucket 'O Beer Man

During an abhorrent Monday Night Football showing last night, this guy was sat by himself at the bar at Old Chicago in Eagan. He was rooting for both the Packers and the Twins (both losers on the night by the way). As he sat by himself, he would alternately root for the big hit or the big pass play. Sometimes, these things came at the same time and he had to choose which to root for. Alternately, when the two teams screwed up royally, he would yell about it to the whole bar, as if everyone there was hanging on his every call.

“Oh god, what a bad call,” I would think to myself in disgust as I shook my head. “I wonder what that large, yelling man at the bar has to say about it?” Of course, I didn’t need to think this for long because he would simply start ranting at the TV in a loudly, slushy voice. “GRAABABBAHHDAH! FUGGING refs… yOU all gots to get some glASSES you piecies of SHITTY piles of *incoherent rambling garbage* PUNKS!”

If you will notice, he not only has a Packers dew rag on his head covered by a Packers hat, but he is also the proud consumer of the bucket of Budweiser there. Yes folks, dude sat himself down, ordered a bucket of Buds for himself, and proceeded to yell at two sports teams at the same time. Gee, I wonder how that enormous beer gut formed on him? Surely it can’t be from the downing of an entire bucket of beers, possibly almost every night of his life to this point, all by himself, can it? I really wish dude had on a cheesehead and Twins jersey or some other dumb crap to really make him stand out even more. Also, on the way out of the bar, he did the sidler thing and hypothetically scared the crap out of me (see how I said hypothetically there, and not literally? That would have been a sticky situation otherwise). Anyway, he sidled up to me as I was taking a sip of water, put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Don’ wurry, we’ll get ’em.” I won’t lie, I jumped and said “fuck.” Seriously, this is why I hate weird ass drunk people and their skeevy, sliminess. Just stay the hell away from me so I can observe and make fun of you from a distance. Like I said, the Packers lost, as did the Twins (though they don’t really matter to me), but because I needed a pick-me-up, I took this picture while waiting for the bus this morning.

Happy Universe

Happy Universe

It was as if the universe was saying, “Don’t worry, the future is all rosy and bright…”

To which I replied, “The fuck it is universe. Screw you.”