Tag Archives: cowboys

So, uh… Holiday Cheer Sort Of

27 Dec

So. It’s been a little while since I updated anything, but this guy deserves a big update. Yes, there is only one photo, and yes, I wish I would have taken more, but I didn’t feel like wasting time on him like he wasted my, and many other peoples’, time.

Creeper Dude

Creeper Dude

The story goes like this: I was waiting for the bus at my usual bus stop. Minding my own business and waiting for the #6 bus. Normally I take the #4 bus, but I had to make a stop in Uptown for eyeglasses related crap… anyway. I’m standing in the glass enclosure, and this dude starts staring me down. It wasn’t like I was the only person there for him to give the stink eye to either. There were many willing and, quite frankly, more deserving people than myself, but he felt the need to constantly look at me whenever I so much as moved my head to check out if the bus were coming or to simply check out a girl walking down the street. I didn’t know what his problem was with me (although sometimes I think I think others can sense the immense evil and depravity in my soul and he could smell it or sense it or something), but it could have been the totally kicking coat I had on that made his look like a syphilitic garbage pile that had been peed on by a hoard of reticulated monkeys and was then pooped out onto his body by homeless drifters. Either one of those is pretty much correct I think.

Finally, after a few minutes of his eyes creeping all over the place, the bus rolls up. As is normal protocol, the people leaving the bus have the right of way and they stepped off. This set the guy off. He immediately tore into the driver, demanding to know why she didn’t let him on first and what her problem was. Now, at this point, it should be noted that the guy has no physical handicap that anyone can see, nor was he walking with any aids or with any other sort of devices that would have made him in need of what he wanted.

So now he is standing and openly arguing about the driver not letting him on first. Not only that, but he stands with his arms stretched out over the door, preventing the passengers from entering or leaving the bus. Meanwhile, it’s fucking freezing outside. This went on for about three or so minutes, while myself and other passengers yelled at this moron to let us on the bus. Finally, we showed our holiday spirit and shoved his ass out of the way so that people who were actually of sound mind could get on the bus and be warm.

Then, the kicker. His whole argument for this stemmed from him needing to use the automatic lift that is normally reserved for the elderly, people with disabilities or those truly in need. This fucking idiot wasted everyone’s time, patience and fucking holiday cheer just so he could use that goddamn auto elevator dealy! And if that weren’t enough, the bus needed to then pull forward another five feet from the normal stop to get into position, take another minute for the device to retract, him to step on and another minute for the thing to lug his fat bitch ass inside the bus.

His whole need for this was to get to church on time. That’s right, he actually made himself even later by arguing with the driver that he was going to be late for church. Let me put this in perspective if this isn’t hitting home for you. Dude knows he is going to be late and yet still goes on a tirade for minutes, wasting even MORE time for his precious church! WHAT THE HOLY FUCK DUDE?! At one point, the bus driver actually said to his face, “Jesus ain’t gonna save you if you talking like that.” It made my day.

But he got to his stop, used the handicap ramp again, then proceeded to WALK another few blocks to the church. What a fucking leech of the system. He didn’t need to argue with the driver (especially seeing as he was in the wrong the whole time), he didn’t need to block out everyone else from getting on the bus, and he certainly didn’t need to use something that was put in place for the truly needy. What a way to start my vacation.

Then I ended up at the Mall of America and saw this.

Pink Cowgirl Hose Sticker w/cross

Pink Cowgirl Hose Sticker w/cross

It was in that RCC Western Store and is of a cowgirl, her horse and a cross. Now, I have to admit that I don’t really know too much about cowboys and cowgirls – other than I would guess they have really wild shootouts with Indianboys and Indiangirls – but this struck me as odd, mainly because of the horse. What purpose does it serve? I imagine it to simply be her mode of transport to the giant cross, but maybe it is praying with her to some horse god it knows. I don’t really know. I mean, a quick search of the Internets turns up that Poseidon was the god of horses, but I’m fairly certain that he didn’t use a cross, so yeah, I’m sticking to this vinyl, pink sticker horse being used only for the cowgirl’s transportation and not for the steed’s need to pray.

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Mitchells and Hobbes and Packers! Oh My!

8 Nov

Last Wednesday I went to the Turf Club again for their annual Mystery Science Theater 3000 night. The movie was Mitchell, another that I own on DVD, and it is a horrible flick. But, that is also what makes it so deliciously good. There’s sweaty cops, hookers, kids being yelled at and the slowest car chase ever to be filmed. It’s really breathtaking, in that, your breath will be literally stolen from you as the movie sucks your soul out of your chest (Fact: your soul is actually located in the right femur, but it must exit the body through the chest cavity).

Mitchell MST3K

Mitchell MST3K at Turf Club

The number 4 bus I ride continues to surprise me. If it isn’t some Green Goblin tatted chick or a hick talking about his jaw being broken as “THE FUCKING BEST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE EVAR! FOR REALZ YO!” or dudes who are super hairy and probably related to sasquatch in some way, then it’s dudes sitting by themselves reading Calvin and Hobbes. Now, I love Calvin and Hobbes – I have pretty much every collection there is – but this dude just struck me as odd that he would be sitting on the bus at 4:45 in the afternoon on a Friday perusing the pages of a Calvin and Hobbes collection. I guess there isn’t anything wrong with that, but still. It was odd.

Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin and Hobbes on #4 bus

Also, happened to view the football team from Green Bay totally annihilate the team from Dallas. It was pretty embarrassing for all them Texans. I guess even losing is bigger in Texas though!

Packers vs. Cowboys

Packers vs. Cowboys